Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you traded sex for a burrito?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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