ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
