i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
accomplished twins. life is a go
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
