think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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