so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
