If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
