Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
