I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
