So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
