What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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