My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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