I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
