I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
In America we eat man semen.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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