So drunk its hurt
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
