He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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