she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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