So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
