oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
