Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
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