every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
