Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
