I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
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