Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
