Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
