I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I am available for nakedness
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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