It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
