Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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