what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
