Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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