sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
