I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
