Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
