I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
