Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
