i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
