Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
