Having a random hookup so left but love u
babies were throwing up all over the place
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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