Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
