I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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