if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
