You're a womanizer and a bitch.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
