Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
