yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
