I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
