note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
