My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
