it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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