he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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