I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
