She's JV to your varsity
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
