Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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