i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
